NO NEED TO FIGHT….
It is not a question of making efforts to be aware. If you make efforts to be aware, you will create tensions inside yourself – all efforts bring tensions. If you TRY to be aware, you are fighting with yourself; there is no need to fight. Awareness is not a by-product of effort: awareness is a fragrance of let-go: awareness is a flowering of surrender, of relaxation.
Just sit silently in a relaxed state, doing nothing… and awareness will start happening. Not that you have to pull it up from somewhere, not that you have to bring it from somewhere. It will shower on you from nowhere. It will well up from within your own sources. You just be silent, sitting.